2023 Was A Girl's Girl

2023. What a year to be a woman! Or rather a more eloquent way to put what all girls & women felt this year would be “Oh, how I love being a woman!”.

2023 was a lot of things. Like most years, it had its ups and downs. And no, it wasn’t perfect. But I want to look back at the positives because when I close my eyes & try to reflect on everything that has happened in the world we live in over the past year, the one trend that stands out shiningly is the one where girls & women felt empowered & safe to express themselves.

When I was growing up in the early 2000s, there were many women who were portrayed in a seemingly positive light in movies, music videos, and pop culture in general. But the older I got, the more I realised that even the women I grew up thinking were my ideals of what a perfect woman would be, were not real. Not because there weren’t any women like them, there were & still are. But because the perfect women cannot be put into one mould. She comes in so many shapes, sizes, colours, & more.

To this day, I’m working every single day to become more aware of this conditioning I received when I was young & how I can be better. One thing I absolutely adore about 2023 is that she was what I would’ve loved to have when I was growing up, a girl’s girl- by a woman, of a woman, & for a woman.

Disclaimer:- (1) I’d like to mention beforehand that this article is in no way trying to ignore the fact that there are many atrocities of devastating nature that have been practiced in this past year, and even continue to this day. Rather, this article simply seeks to highlight the optimistic & positive events in a hope to show that there is still hope, trust & happiness to look forward to.

(2) In this article, we will mainly refer to 2023 being a girl’s girl from the perspective of films, series & music.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get started!

WHAT & WHO IS A GIRL’S GIRL?

In general, a girl’s girl is someone, male or female, who supports & is there for women without any exceptions or discriminations. A video by The Take says, “Now in 2023, you know someone’s a Girl’s Girl not because they wear a ton of pink or shout “slay queen” at every opportunity – but because they’re aware of oppressive systems and understand that, in order to work towards a more liberated world for everybody, we need to prioritize our most marginalized first.”

A girl’s girl includes new terms like girl dinner, girl math, hot girl walks, etc. Still, more importantly, it brings forth the idea that it’s okay for all girls not to be different or competitive with each other all the time, and that we are amazing because we are alike in so many ways. That we are, in fact, like most girls! 

Antithesis To The “Pick Me” Girl

To illustrate, growing up I loved pink and all things girly, but if anyone remembers what it felt like growing up in the 2000s, everyone wanted to be perceived as different, as the “cool girl” who’s “not like other girls”. I don’t quite understand why, but most girls felt the need to be desperately different or better than other girls, even if that meant conflicting with their own inner beautiful personality. I personally avoided pink on so many occasions, just to fit in and not be perceived as too girly as if it was a bad thing to be.

Shaeden Berry at Refinery29 says, “the “girl’s girl” trend presents itself as the antithesis to the “pick me” girl, and, at least right now, it does this with a sort of wholesome energy that’s rooted in a genuine delight at forging connections with women over our shared interests.”

Importance Of Female Friendships aka Community >> Competition

Being a girl’s girl not only allows them to better express themselves as they truly are, whether in pink or black, but also brings them together as a community.

When we stopped vying to be different from each other, we realized how much we love & respect each other, leading to healthier female friendships than I have seen in the last decade. Beyond friendships, girls even became more comfortable complimenting each other in public. And all girls know how special it feels to receive compliments from fellow girlies!

A Girl’s Girl Is Not Anti-Men!

Being a girl’s girl does not mean that they are anti-men. Women will always cherish the male relationships in their lives, whether it’s their father, grandfather, brother, friend, or better half. It just means that we are finally starting to recognize the beauty in being a woman and coming together to learn & grow as humans.

Men can be girl’s girls too!

One last point I’d like to add is that one of my favorite aspects of this trend is that it hasn’t been limited to girls & women. Men have also been vocal about the importance of women having the spaces to be themselves and to put their collective interests & opinions forward. They have also talked about the importance of female friendships in their lives. Women taking rein to be who they are despite the stereotypes they grew up with, inspires men as well to be who they are. Men can be girl’s girls too.

To sum up,

HOW WAS 2023 A GIRL’S GIRL?

To build some context as to why a girl’s girl era was even required in today’s age, I’d like to quote one of The Take’s videos, “But there was still an influx of “Guy’s Girl” characters: like the “Pick Me” girl, the “Manic Pixie Dream Girl,” or the “Cool Girl.” For years, it was cool to be “one of the guys,” or “not like other girls” – identities that were crafted to appear more inclusive, but were ultimately crafted for men and created unnecessary competition amongst women.”

Now, let’s see how 2023 was the girl's girl we all desperately needed. Let’s turn back time to July, when Greta Gerwig’s Barbie released. Everyone was proudly wearing pink and shouting “Hi Barbie!” & “Hi Ken!” to each other. Not only that, brands like Aldo, Gap, Crocs, Nyx, Cold Stone, Burger King, etc. also joined in and brought out special editions of their products in pink.  And of course, one cannot deny that this was partly because of the marketing team behind Barbie, but it also created this atmosphere of acceptance towards the color pink and its association with femininity. People were not only wearing & buying pink but also embracing it.

Then, there was the iconic Taylor Swift’s The Era Tour movie that got girl's girls from all over the world dancing in circles, screaming their hearts out, making friendship bracelets & paper rings for absolute strangers, and whatnot, just to celebrate their shared love for Taylor Swift and what she represents for women & girls around the world.

It’s almost like this wasn’t a trend anymore and rather was turning out to be a cultural awakening for women and girls all over the world to embrace their girlhoods again, in the most empathetic, healing, community-led way ever. A Mashable article rightfully termed this a "Girl-aissance". It was as if we were finally healing from the pressures of being a woman in the modern world by being just a girl; an innocent, light-hearted, rosy-tinted, friendly girl. Something we all craved to be but was taken away from us sooner than we had hoped for.

Some other examples of pop culture examples which fueled this movement were Olivia Rodrigo’s latest album GUTS, Season 2 of The Summer I Turned Pretty, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, and Sofia Coppola’s Priscilla. Moreover, we even revisited some references from previous years, like for female friendships we had Eleven & Max (Stranger Things), Alexa & Katie (Alexa & Katie), Anne & Diana (Anne with an “E”), and many more.

IS IT AS SHINY AS IT SEEMS? – The Cons

So far, we’ve talked a lot about the good aspects of 2023 being a girl’s girl. So, it’s only fair to also discuss the areas of this trend which could be considered harmful rather than helpful.

Slipping Back To The Oppressive Mindset Under This Guise

We all grow up with thoughts we might grow into loving and thoughts we work hard to repurpose. Like I love that I grew up learning to respect my sleep & diet, but also I am working hard every day to be easier on myself when I fail because the society I grew up in doesn’t really prioritize rest. Similarly, when it comes to trends like this, while we love to hop onto them, more often than not, it can turn out to be superficial. While we might pretend to be all about the freedom of girls & women in the choices they make, we still might end up judging other women who make choices we might not agree with. For example- Homemakers judging working women, and vice- versa.

We might seem to be this awesome online sister to the community and still end up being unkind to others when it comes to body image issues, relationship with food, career choices, etc. Maybe it’s because of the conditioning we grew up with, but it is something to recognize and work on before hopping onto a trend like this. Otherwise, it could simply turn into another excuse to judge, criticize & bully other people online under the guise of a “girl’s girl”.

Another aspect of this is how this trend is sometimes used to justify any & all actions girls and women take, even if they are wrong. A girl’s girl should also be realistic.

Feeding Into Capitalism

There are some people who have discussed the repercussions of this trend on the increasing support towards capitalism. And I have to say, after reading their thoughts on it, I agree that it's something to think about. While I love Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, it was also a big Mattel advertisement. Now, I don’t need to talk about how capitalism while doing us a lot of good, also does us a lot of bad. So, how does a seemingly harmless trend feed into capitalism?

According to a Mashable article, “The radical potential of girl-centric internet moments is always curtailed by materialism and corporate greed. By nature of TikTok and brands' social media presences, these trends are quickly commodified and sold back to us, before we even have time to make sense of the trend. While a simple trend like girl dinner might not seem like a call to action, it hints at larger issues faced by women. But when trends like girl dinner are so rapidly adopted by brands, it encourages buying stuff instead of reflection.” 

So, the question is, are we conscious of the choices we are making as part of this trend? Or has it simply become another way for brands to get women & girls to buy more of their products?

Failed To Create Change

There have been social media trends like #MeToo & #BlackLivesMatter which have resulted in huge socio-political & cultural shifts in not only mindsets but also actual policies, whether on corporate or national level. Can we say the same about the girl’s girl trend? Not really.

It’s such a beautiful trend but unfortunately, it’s just that - a beautiful trend. While not every trend has to bring about socio-political change, some people found it a critical con, considering the times in which this trend emerged.

The Mashable article shares how “Mashable's tech reporter Elena Cavender and social good reporter Chase DiBenedetto discuss how "girl trends" captured the public consciousness, yet failed to build community or create change.” In the same article Elena goes on to say, “When it comes to girl trends, we are stuck in the place of commiserating, rather than the community-building necessary to lead to collective action.”

Can Become Superficial

Another con that many have pointed out is that this trend is making being superficial cool, be it in the clothes, food, or friendships they maintain in their lives. This point surprised me the most, as the whole point of this trend is to make girls & women feel comfortable in their own skin and the choices they make, whether it's all pink, blue, purple, or black!

While some of the people making this point can be construed as brutal critics of the trend, like every other one has too, it has to be kept in mind that one of the many ruthless critics will always make a valid point. So, one cannot ignore that while this trend has brought together many women to reclaim their girlhood and confidently be themselves, it has also led some people becoming quite shallow & superficial in the things they choose to share and not. (despite it being against the very spirit of the trend itself)

Moreover, this goes hand in hand with an obsession to look young (maybe because girls are less likely to be despised than women?). And this doesn’t always manifest itself in the healthiest way. However, I feel that the people promoting toxic health regimes as part of this particular trend were only a minority when compared to the number of people posting healthy, body-positive tips and habits.

Another Excuse For Online Bullying

The classic beginning of the downfall of any internet trend begins when it starts getting used as a medium to bully others on the platform who don’t seem to conform to your ideology or way of looking at things. As mentioned earlier, most people who were part of this trend were wholesome community builders. But every trend has its bad apples.

While most tried to make the experience of being a girl & a woman less competitive and more collective, some found a way to bully people & isolate them for their mistakes. This ultimately goes against the idea of being a girl’s girl, because that would mean helping your fellow girlie to grow from her mistakes (if she did make one) instead of shaming her for them, and actually hearing her story out(to know if it was even a mistake to begin with).

Bullying someone is wrong in any scenario, but under the guise of a trend that's all about giving people who have been systematically shushed for centuries, is cruel? I mean, I love Selena Gomez, but that doesn’t justify me hating Hailey Bieber without knowing her personally or anything about her life, now does it?

Setting Unrealistic Standards To “fit in”

Lastly, this trend has led to some people setting unrealistic standards and others complying with them to “fit in”, like supremacist beauty ideals. Yet another point where the trend turns on itself. At the end of the day, trend or no trend, each human being has to have the freedom to be themselves bravely, beautifully & boldly. Each one of us deserves a space to express ourselves freely & safely, as long as it is constructive & not harming others.

However, as discussed earlier, the trend is not all bad and while it can have its drawbacks, it’s nothing that cannot be worked on. We all still need girl’s girls in our lives. Otherwise, things could turn out to be quite fatal. The Take's video mentions, “In Fleabag, for example, we see how vying for a man’s attention has fateful consequences to the main character’s most sacred female friendship.” We wouldn’t wish for a friendship like Cassie and Maddy's from Euphoria, would we?

HOW CAN WE ALL BE A GIRL’S GIRL?

So far, we’ve talked about what it means to be a girl’s girl, how 2023 was one, and its pros & cons. But how do you become one? How to get on the journey of breaking through the conditioning & barriers we grew up with and embrace the feminine energy we want to carry within us? I’ve compiled a list of articles, videos, & conversations that can be helpful in understanding not only what a girl’s girl is, but also how to be one.

1.      The Modern Feminist is a GIRL'S GIRL | FEMINISM by The Take

2.      WHAT BEING A ‘GIRL’S GIRL’ MEANS TO ME by Zoey Dennis (Her Campus)

3.      Most Girls by Hailee Steinfeld

4.      Derry Girls (Netflix series)

5.      The Babysitter’s Club (Netflix series)

6.      Barbie by Greta Gerwig 

7.      being friends with a girl’s girl by @gabschase

8.      TEDxRuhrUniversityBochum- Radical feminism is a gift to men by Robert Jensen

9.      TEDWomen- This isn't her mother's feminism by Courtney E. Martin

This is a working list, which means that I would love for you guys to add to this list - videos, articles, songs, anything you feel fit for this list!

In summary, I’m so glad 2023 was a girl’s girl. The Mashable article says, “According to TikTok's end-of-year report, videos with #Girlhood racked up 1.5 billion views in 2023, almost a 4,000 percent increase compared to 2022.” It was just a nice trend that gave comfort when so many things were going wrong in the world.

Can this trend become too simplistic or naive at times? Yes of course, but why are we so focused on making life more & more complicated? Let’s be simple. No need to lower our voices, be desperately different, judgemental & competitive. Let’s wear the colors we like, choose the hobbies we want, speak to be heard, be different yet similar, & build each other up.

Let’s girlify & unify! Let’s all be girlies (no matter your gender)! It’s less about literally being a girl and more about the emotion it represents. Let’s just be simple & have fun!

And now to you, are you a girl’s girl? What are your thoughts on this trend? Are there any links or pop culture references you’d like to add to the list above? I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this article, please drop a like and share it with your family and friends, and for further blog updates follow me on my Instagram handle @helzeeblog , on Wix and also on YouTube. See you next time! Till then, always remember, Be brave. Be strong. Be great.💛

~ helzeee 💛